Of Viagra, Heartbreak And Current Affairs

Out there in the Gulf Of Mexico* there are many turtles- Kemp's Ridley Sea Turtles to be precise. These little creatures were first identified by a guy called Richard Kemp in Florida and sent off to Harvard to be properly classified. 
Nobody is sure about the Ridley bit of the name - before that these poor things were known as "the bastard turtles". From 1946-1986 there was a huge decline in their numbers. Then their breeding ground was discovered, a beach along the Mexico Coastline . Sadly the locals were stealing the eggs in vast numbers. People paid well for them - because "A turtle egg with a shot of tequila" was believe to combat impotence in Mexican males. In a brilliant co-operative project, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Service got together with local conservationists to collect eggs and set up a new breeding ground along the Padre Island Seashore.

This began in 1986, and when Viagra came along, a social awareness advert was produced in Mexico suggesting that the little blue pill was a better alternative than the eggs. The strapline was "My man does not need turtle eggs" It was surprisingly successful! Numbers of the breed really improved. But it remains a critically endangered species, and TPWS continue their work. The video below lasts 7 minutes but is really informative [and full of cute baby turtles]

But unfortunately, global warming has affected the temperature of the waters, and some turtles are getting a little bit lost, confused by warmer currents. In November 2021, after Storm Arwen, one was washed up on a beach in Flintshire. It was taken to Anglesey Sea Zoo, nicknamed Tally, and after months of intensive care, was nursed back to health, then flown home to the US in September 2023.  A few months later, another turtle was washed up, nicknamed Rhossi. ASZ started working with the Americans in their Turtle Conservation Programme.

All good stuff - for the Kemp's Ridley, Bastard, or 'Heartbreak Turtle' as it has been variously named. Apparently sailors witnessed the creatures having 'turned turtle' [flipped on their backs] and dying. The sailors maintained the turtles' hearts were broken, hence the nickname.

But here's the latest heartbreak - Rhossi was due to be flown home in March, but is stuck in Anglesey. By order of Donald Trump. On his first day in office, that man signed an executive order requiring a freeze on all foreign development assistance. Which meant the US Fish and Wildlife Service stopped funding various projects, including the Marine Turtle Conservation Fund. In February, 400 USFWS workers lost their jobs as part of Trump's cutbacks. So there is currently no way of flying Rhossi home to the Gulf of Mexico. Frankie Hobro, director of ASZ continues to look after him.
Martha Williams, former director of USFWS said the impact on conservation projects was "heartbreaking". "I didn't expect this administration to necessarily be friendly towards conservation. I have been surprised at the speed and the degree to which they have undermined decades of goodwill and work in the conservation sphere…International work involved so little money, you know in the big scheme of things, small grants with enormous impact - enormous impact to communities." Williams described the cuts to promised funding for projects such as marine turtle conservation as "cruel". Ms Williams said the message was "don't give up. Speak out - tell the stories, explain why this work is so important, and that it does impact people in a positive way,"

So here I am, speaking out, telling the story, trying to make a positive impact. These are precious, beautiful creatures. They are part of God's Creation, and as a Christian, I believe I am called to be a good steward of the earth.
God bless the turtles, Frankie and co at ASZ, and what remains of the conservation services in the USA. There is a link here if you want to find out how you can help ASZ with their sea turtle recovery programme.

* As far as I am concerned it is still the Gulf of Mexico

Lent 4: Relationships

I regard today as Mothering Sunday, NOT Mothers' Day. It started in 16th Century Tudor England. On the fourth Sunday of Lent, people would go back to their 'mother churches'. And those who had left home for work [many of them still children] were allowed the day off for this, so they could go home to their family and worship together.

That was important - the opportunity to thank God for their roots, their families, and the faith tradition in which they had grown up. Mothers' Day was started in the USA by Anna Jarvis in 1907, when she held a memorial service for her own mother.  The idea took off in many states, and in 1914 the President declared the 2nd Sunday in May as a National Holiday. By 1920 Anna was campaigning for it to be stopped, as she was so disgusted by the commercialism surrounding it, and companies seeking to make money by selling gifts and cards! 

Today is not so much about mothers as about mothering. I am blessed in that I have three people for whom I have a special 'mothering' responsibility - Liz, Steph and Julian. And of course I care for their families too.

The dictionary defines mothering as 'having the characteristics of a mother, being caring, protective and kind, showing unconditional love'

You can be mothering towards someone without being their biological parent, or even a female.

In Matthew, Jesus says "O Jerusalem - how often I've ached to embrace your children, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings" In Isaiah 49, God declares "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you". Caring, protective, kind, showing unconditional love.
Today let us celebrate the people in our lives who 'mother' us - and seek to do what we can to show that kind of unconditional love to others. 
And let us continue to encourage young mothers for whom it is a 24/7 relentless responsibility. Children don't come with a handbook, and it is very hard sometimes. Last year when Liz and Jon were away and we were looking after Ro and Jess. On the 3rd day, Rosie looked us and said solemnly "You two are getting the hang of this parenting thing now, aren't you?"  I think she forgets we have been learning for over 40 years!
Finally, do not forget those people who find today extremely difficult - those who have lost their Mums, those who have lost their children, and those who longed for children of their own. but never had them. Maybe they need a card or a bunch of flowers too...

Tonight's The Night

 This made me chuckle 

I always intend to go to bed an hour earlier,  but somehow never manage it.

And it is usually a couple of days before all the clocks in the house get adjusted.

Skrattar Fortfarande

That's Swedish, it means "Still Laughing". Because we are - there is no point in getting upset by the tangle of pipework behind the sink, or the electric sockets all at different heights. We are just getting on and getting it sorted.

I never mentioned the brilliant sign Bob produced on the day the flatpack kitchen was delivered. If you shop in IKEA you will know their staff wear sweatshirts which say Hej! The driver was extremely impressed, and asked if he could take a picture to show them back at the depot. I said they should send it to customers to print off.

The boxes are all neatly stacked and awaiting the Great Unboxing. That's a while down the road as yet, Gavin-the-Plumber needs to come and sort all our pipes first.

We are getting a new built in fridge [so visitors will open 3 cupboards before they find the milk for their tea] That is obvious not delivered as a Flatpack.

I am used to seeing arrows pointing to TOP, but the fridge box is also labelled at the front and back.  We were childishly amused by this information about handling, and the fact that our new fridge has a backside!

Our old fridge was purchased less than three years ago, and was in excellent condition. I posted it on Facebook Marketplace.

One person responded "Is this still for sale?" I said it was. "Where are you, when can I collect, please?" Now I am aware that there are scammers out there...

So I checked the profile of the potential buyer. She lived in Newcastle, and all her purchases had been in that area. This is odd- I posted in a Norfolk group. I replied with the name of the village, and said I was confused as her profile indicated she was in the North East. She replied immediately that the fridge was for her gran, and she was here in Norfolk staying with her [in a village just a few miles away]

She was here within half an hour, and extremely pleased with the fridge, and handed me the cash. I apologised for being suspicious but she was really nice about it, and said it was a reasonable question on my part. 

The dust continues to settle on every available surface, as the drilling and plastering for the sockets is sorted. 

My GCSE pupil had a good result in her maths mock, so that was an encouragement. We continue to plough through revision of Romeo and Juliet. Her school are going to show films of the set books after school on Fridays. "So we will see Christmas Carol, Romeo and Juliet In Spectacles and everything" [What??!!??]

I rewound what she had said...it was actually  Christmas Carol, Romeo and Juliet, An Inspector Calls... But we did like the idea of the star crossed lovers of Verona popping into Specsavers

I wonder which version they will watch. I only know the 1954 Alastair Sim classic - but I suspect they will see the 2015 film with David Thewlis, Miranda Richardson, Ken Stott etc. I must try and find it and watch it.

I did struggle with Baz Luhrmann's R&J. Too contemporary, all those guns and big cars...

Has anybody seen the 2015 version? Is it true to J B Priestley's original book?

Hilda And Her Housework

I spotted this emoji recently. I am sure that many of you reading this have often felt that you are juggling too many balls at once, and expect to drop one very soon. Down the centuries the role of women has changed, but I think most of the time [unless females were very sick, or very wealthy] girls have generally been kept pretty busy. 

My Mum was called Hilda. Her generation had fewer clothes, and laundered them less frequently - but they had to contend with boiling nappies in "coppers" and rolling sheets through mangles. And if it rained, no chance of a tumble in the dryer to get things dry. With no freezers,  microwaves, air fryers, or Deliveroo, it meant meals were usually cooked from scratch, and it took ages. And until 1954, Hilda and co had to manage "on the ration". 

However much we have been "liberated" and women have "broken the glass ceiling" to acquire jobs previously dominated by men, and we try to work towards equal partnerships in our relationships, frequently it seems that women still carry a heavier load when it comes to running the home. I came across the phrase "cognitive household labour" recently. In families where there are children, the Mums do much of the thinking, planning and project management of day-to-day life - and then do the higher percentage of the actual work. 

In fact, the latest Hilda Survey* shows that men spend 12.8 hours a week on household chores [the same figure as 20 years ago] but women are doing 18+hours on average.  

I look around at my own extended family, and I'm so grateful for the guys who iron shirts, cook meals, do the school run, unload the dishwasher, take children to sports, and pull the wheelie bins out etc. I also see hands-on grandparents helping out as and when they can. I am also very aware that my two daughters [and four nieces] work very hard at full-time jobs and do the work of organising things so "family life" runs smoothly. I love them all, and I am proud of the example they are setting the next generation.

So please could all you "influencers" back off a bit? Stop posting pictures of your ideal homes, fabulous birthday parties, immaculately behaved adolescents, perfectly potty trained toddlers etc etc. Stop pushing false Mum-guilt onto exhausted young women who are already giving 100%. Thank you

[*Hilda stands for Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia ]

Hallelujah!

Every year there is a European competition to find the gelato "flavour of the year" This year it was won by a chocolate, hazelnut gianduja delight, named "Hallelujah"

It does look rather splendid. The Italians are especially delighted that it went on sale on Monday - this was World Gelato Day and the day that the Pope came home from hospital. 

And he is known to be very fond of gelato.

In other pontifical news, I have just finished reading Conclave by Robert Harris. Another extremely clever book from this gifted author. I picked it up in a CS a while back. But then Pope Francis went into hospital and I felt vaguely uncomfortable reading about a deceased Pope. But when they said Francis was making a good recovery. I started it, and polished it off very quickly. I did suspect the plot twist at the end fairly early on, but that did not detract from my enjoyment.

I rate this one **** [it will be going back to a CS once I have seen the film!] DO NOT look up the book or film on wikipedia, as it reveals too much of the plot and may prove to be a spoiler for you. Fortunately I only looked on Wiki afterwards!

Anyway I am always glad when a sick person is getting better

Rejoice, rejoice! Or should we spell it Rejo -Ice?

ShortCut

On Sunday, I woke to a message telling me my neighbour had just died. She had been ion hospital a fortnight, and it was not unexpected. In her 90s with multiple health issues, it was a release from pain for her. But I shall miss her so much. She had been housebound for nearly 5 years, and I often popped over in the afternoon to make her a cuppa and stay for a chat. 
Bob and I had a quiet day - church, lunch, then TV [the Grand Prix, then The Residence] and an early night. The Residence is a screwball comedy murder mystery reminiscent of Knives Out **** [lots of clever film references]

On Monday we cleared up all the debris from Saturdays electrical work [Bob and Adrian couldn't do it Saturday as the lighting circuit was switched off and it was starting to get dark when they finished] Another neighbour popped round to see if I was OK, she had noticed I was quite subdued at church [how very kind of her] Then after lunch we popped into Norwich to return library books, get a light fitting, and I got a haircut

Last haircut was 6th November - so this was 20 weeks ago. My new cut looks exactly the same as it did then [picture below]

Just a little bit greyer! Next haircut mid August, if not sooner. Maybe I should not go so long between cuts. I think I am developing a double chin. Maybe I should go longer between cakes!
All this plaster dust has left my skin very dry, I am using lots of handcream and moisturiser.

Cannot decide whether to change my name to Polly Filla or Dusty Springfield. The only one who could ever reach me was the son of a Preacher Man. [Or in my case, son-in-law]

I do miss Only Connect on a Monday Evening!

The Girls' Grand Day Out

On Saturday, while Bob and my bro worked on the kitchen, and Jon was cycling, I took Liz and the girls out to Blickling Hall [having been there a couple of days before with Julian]  We did the 2 mile round trip walk to see the Pyramid Mausoleum, then ate our picnic lunch before visiting the bookshop. Both girls found books, and I found a book I had heard about, but never actually read. Liz kindly bought it for me [for £2.50]. We had cake and coffee, and the girls had ice creams. All good fun, and although it clouded over, we escaped the rain.

The book was "The Norwich Shawl" by Pamela Clabburn. Back in 2016, there was an exhibition in the Hostry, at Norwich Cathedral, called "Past Glories, Present Inspiration" - I posted about this , and was thrilled that my artwork was chosen to be part of the event. At the time, the leading expert on the shawls was Helen Hoyte, then aged 92 - who had worked very closely with Pamela  - her great friend having died two years before. Pamela had founded the Costume and Textiles Association. I knew that Helen had written a brief history of the shawls [pub 2010] , but PC wrote the original history,[pub 1995] which also catalogued the shawl collection held in the Strangers' Hall Museum in Norwich. Pamela had been awarded the MBE in 1999

And here in the NT bookshop was that very book for just £2.50. It is beautifully written book, full of illustrations - line drawings, paintings, and photographs - explaining the development of this very special garment, popular between about 1780 and 1860. Full of useful definitions and explanations.

That motif often referred to as Paisley came from India and was called boteh - but in
Norwich it was referred to as pine because it looked like a cone [Norwich made these shawls long before they got to Scotland!] Queen Victoria had 4 of the shawls - she fell in love with them when visiting the Great Exhibition in 1851, and that made them very fashionable.

The glorious red shawls featured in famous paintings of the time, like Holman Hunt's "Awakening Conscience"

It is going to take me a while to read this book and absorb all the information, whilst marvelling at the techniques of dyeing, weaving, printing and finishing.

I just have to include this picture from the book, painted by Belgian artist Alfred Stevens. He titled it "Departing for the Promenade:1859. But when it was exported to the USA a few years later, it was renamed "Will you go out with me, Fido?"

And I just know I am going to love reading it. But what has blown my mind even further - Liz paid just £2.50 for the book, and after we got home I looked it up on line. Not that many copies were printed - it was a Norwich Museums/ HMSO publication, originally retailing at £12.50 Now it is advertised in various places on line, at prices between £85-£95!! 

What a fabulous find - thank you so much, Liz!!

Lent 3: Repair

The verb repair has two definitions, the first, in common usage, means to restore, to make good, to put right. The second repair, not used so much these days means 'to go to' or 'to go back to'
Both of them are worth considering during Lent...

The Repair Shop has become a popular programme on British TV. People bring in Granny's Typewriter, or Uncle Jack's watch, or that painting from the loft 

which someone brought back from the War. or a diary from a POW Camp, Great Aunt Jessie's dancing shoes, or a teddy or toy or whatever. And however wrecked they are, the team weave their magic and restore these items so they can be truly appreciated, perhaps used again, and handed down to future generations. It is a very emotional show. 
I am totally behind the principle of repair and re-use. And doing such good work does have a positive impact - on the environment [less to landfill] and in the case of the show, bringing back happy memories. Generally making the world a better place. 
But I have one question which rarely gets answered for me as I watch these people - why did you leave it so long? If Grandad's armchair mattered that much, why was it left to rot in the shed for 35 years? OK, maybe they had tried to find a fixer and couldn't, or maybe the cost was prohibitive and this way it is done for nothing - but it does feel that sometimes they just left it and didn't really bother about getting things put right. That just seems sad to me. I am aware of people I know who have broken relationships - people they have fallen out with, friends or family members. Life is short, friends - make every effort to repair relationships as and when you can. I know it isn't always possible, if the other person refuses - but don't let something stay unrepaired because you didn't make an effort.

What about repair - to go to, or to go back to? Often, used in earlier times, meaning to go to a restful or pleasant place "The ladies will repair to the garden" "To thy happy coast repair" is a line from Rule, Britannia!  Sometimes it is good to repair, to go to, a place of peace. Whether in reality [my trip to the NT gardens at Blickling Hall with Julian on Wednesday] or in memory [happy walks along the Dorset coast with friends a few years ago] or even just repair to the lounge and watch a programme on TV about lovely places. Such enjoyment of the beauty of nature can restore us, repair our souls, and help us feel better. 

However you choose to repair today, may your Sabbath be blessed

The Jersey Boys

From 1981-1991, I loved watching Bergerac with John Nettles. It was set in the Channel Islands, and I dreamed of going to Jersey one day. Jim Bergerac was a smart young detective -with a failed marriage and a drink problem, and a millionaire father-in-law who was a good mate, with dodgy friends. Played by a slim John Nettles- before his waistline thickened and he moved to Midsomer!

Last month a new Bergerac launched on U channel with Damien Molony in the title role - and Charlie Hungerford is now feisty female [Zoe Wanamaker] whereas the original urbane Charlie was male [Terence Hungerford]

First time round, episodes were mostly stand alone stories - this time they take a whole series [six shows] to tell the tale. We binged watched it over two evenings!

I have to say we both enjoyed it, the fresh approach worked well, but there was enough of a nod to thirty years ago to justify it being called Bergerac. A good reboot, we thought. And he is driving the exact same classic Triumph Roadster

If you liked Nettles, I hope you will like Molony too. And I hope they make a few more series. 

They offered John Nettles a cameo role, but he turned it down, citing his age [he is 81, after all] However he has made very generous comments about the new show and Damien's performance, saying he is very happy with the new guy. There's a great interview here between the pair of them, discussing their different approaches to Bergerac[and that fantastic car] It is short, and well worth watching.

And if you have time, try the new series, still available on U. I rate it *****

[yes we did get to Jersey eventually, for a minibreak, about 20 years ago]

Of FITS And Fitters

Some churches run holiday clubs in the summer holidays and call the FITS - Fun In The Sun. You cannot really call it FITS in Spring - the weather is less predictable. There may be no sun, just April Showers. 

Having declared last year was definitely our last club - the 3- day-programme was just too demanding,  Bob was having a lot of back pain. Sadly nobody felt able to take over this year. So we'll do an Easter Quest. It will include a light lunch, and lots of different crafts and challenges happening at once.  The parents will be asked to stay [thus ensuring there are enough adults to help with glue and Easter Gardens] 

Thank you everyone for your lovely ideas about badges yesterday, so many people mentioned making ones about Kitchen Fitters. It reminded me of a cartoon I came across recently. And thank you to Elizabeth at Small Treasures for sending me this cartoon which made me chuckle

The ceiling is now smooth and plastered, the screed* has been laid on the floor - tiling this morning. Painting the ceiling and fixing the electric sockets are next on this list. [why do we use the same word for 'a long speech' as we do for 'a level floor'?]

I'm Considering Becoming A Pin-Up Girl...

Pottering around in the loft, I came across my Super-Badge-It badgemaker. I needed a lot of badges for a conference, and it was easier and cheaper to make my own  - so Steph bought this for me. I have used it a lot over the years. Over half term I was conscious that Rosie is really into badges right now. Look...

There are lots on her rainbow jumper. A number came from the Science Fair. I have been wondering about making some more badges next time she and Jess are here. Or perhaps some for children's crafts at church.
Or maybe a couple for myself. 

But there are too many other things to do right now. Like Kitchens and Holiday Club and Collaborative Stitching and...

Mrs Spackle Gets Plastered With Mr Sandman

On Monday morning, Josh, a local plasterer, came and did a great job of skimming the kitchen ceiling, and repairing the rather damaged walls round the window. In the afternoon, Julian arrived for a few days. 

Tuesday Bob had to go to the Hospice so J & I set to work - sanding down uneven walls, and filling in holes. Boy, was it a dusty job! I was glad of my overalls. We both wore masks because there was an incredible amount of dust.
Julian is better with power tools so he was in charge of the cordless sander. I am better at icing cake, so I got the job of plastering. [Spackle is the American term for Polyfilla] We worked very hard for about 3 hours, then had showers because we were caked in dust.

Bob got home and at midday we all drove up to the coast - walking along the beach at Salthouse, strolling round the charity shops in Sheringham, and driving home through the beautiful countryside, admiring blooming bulbs in the verges and blossom in the trees.

This happy pair of ducks were dabbling peacefully in a stream by the Salthouse Beach Car Park.
The sun was bright and the water looked so clear. Gorgeous!

Very grateful to Julian for coming up and helping us with this project. We've had a lot of laughs together as we worked.

#Word365

 My word of the year for 2025 - and I said that I wanted it to reflect the way my life impacts others. and the things that impact me.  

Here are three groups I have come across recently who are making an impact, which I think are worth sharing. Thank you Kezzie for sending me the links to the first two, which I am more than happy to share

first Sojo is a company committed to help fix the fashion industry by encouraging people to repair clothing.  They posted on Instagram about the impact of a simple repair on a garment.  Whilst I do my own repairs, I find their statistics fascinating.

• repairing a rip in a waterproof coat = saves 45kg CO₂ emissions= 300 washes in the machine
  
• repairing a hole in a wool jumper = 16kg CO₂ = leaving a lightbulb on for 50 days
• repairing a cotton teeshirt = 7.5kg CO₂ = ironing for 25 hours
  
  The message is clear, MEND IT, DON'T BIN IT!

second -  Saathi Pads are not available to us in the UK - but what a genius idea for using the waste from the banana harvest! and the potential impact to the environment is amazing

finally - a book company I have recently started using. Awesome Books, whose strapline is "Making an impact with every book"

This is the recyclable bag in which my last purchase arrived. I have been happy with Ziffit/WorldOfBooks   for many years, but this company also offers selling/buying of secondhand books. As I am committed to buying 2nd hand if I possibly can, it was useful to find someone who had a 'wanted' book that WOB didn't. And who passes on books to groups which promote reading
- you buy one - we give one-  how good is that?

I should mention that WorldOf Books enables you to make a charitable donation when you sell books to them. Another good impact!

But Are They A REAL Company?

There is more to life than the new kitchen, and I am not going to let this project dominate the blog. But already there have been things which have made us smile. So to brighten up your day too I share this...

Paying for it - well, I figured out that if we consolidated all the various savings pots into one, and paid them into the main bank account, that would work. But if we paid with the M&S Card we'd have 'protection' and also lots of loyalty vouchers [and we'd pay the card balance promptly from the bank account]
Step One, up the credit limit a little bit to ensure we could do this. We always pay off the bill each month, but in case of the unexpected [like last week's £400 garage bill because Bob's car locks weren't working] we wanted to be sure we were not going to incur extra interest charges. This is relatively straightforward. You send M&S an application for the increase, and say what it is for [if you say "guns and drugs", presumably, they refuse. But "kitchen renovation" is OK] and you have to send details of your earnings or pension. The moment the approval came through, Bob contacted our Online Designer to confirm our order and pay Only she was off sick!

Step Two, contact IKEA Customer Services, and point out the Spring 10% offer runs out on 1st March. No problem, they said, because you are at the point of ordering you will still have a 28 day 'grace period' to pay up. But we want to get on with it, please! The guy was very helpful - explaining he would send the bill, plus a security code, which would be valid till midnight. A two part bill - worktops, and everything else.

Step Three, go online, input the code. Pay Bill 1, then Bill 2. So Bob paid Bill 1, then tried in vain to pay Billl 2. My phone pinged [I am the primary cardholder] "Your card has been blocked due to suspicious activity". I telephoned M&S and had the most surreal conversation....

Why has my card been blocked?

    Just the second card, suspicious activity. £742 at 11.15am

Yes, my husband was paying for our new kitchen

    That's a lot of money for a new kitchen [what?! This bloke hasn't bought a kitchen lately]

That is just the first part of the bill. You know we are doing this, it was in our application for n increased credit limit. Which you have already approved. 

    Are you sure this isn't a scam? 

Of course I am sure, we are buying from IKEA

    But are they a REAL company? [where does he live? I know they have no stores in Norfolk, but...] 

Yes, I am sure - they are a huge Swedish company, with outlets across the globe [I decided against saying that allegedly 50% of European children are conceived in IKEA beds!]

    But have you used them before?

Yes, since 1988 when they opened their first UK store in Wembley. You have cancelled my husband's card and I think you should not have done so.

    We have to be careful about suspicious transactions. He will get a new card within 5 working days. 

But we have to pay the second part of the bill before midnight tonight. Can I use my card for that

    Well OK, but only if you are completely sure IKEA is a real company and this is not a scam.

YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP, COULD YOU? 

The work goes on, the game of Tetris continues in the back bedroom as I hunt for random kitchen tools and food items which I know are in a box somewhere in there. Julian WhatsApped me

"Dear Lord and Lady Kitchener, your cousin wants to see you, would you have an available bed?"

I cheerfully replied that the sofabed in the lounge was clear for him this week.

I think he may get a more comfortable bed with Lord and Lady Kitchener-Fellowes [another Julian] but possibly have less fun!