Maybe Ms Conran Was Right After All!

Shirley Conran’s ‘Superwoman’ mantra back in the seventies was “Life Is Too Short To Stuff A Mushroom”

But that was thirty five years ago, and now I am contemplating doing that very thing.

Looking out of Bob’s study window, I spotted something strange at the corner of the lawn.

Three very large mushrooms…

The pound coin should give you an idea of their size

Bob identified them as Macrolepiota procera: The Parasol Mushroom [he is a real fun-guy!] and I found this recipe online

Stuffed Parasol Mushrooms
The cup shape of the parasol mushroom lends them very well to being stuffed and here the traditional sage and onion stuffing typically used for chicken stuffing is employed.
Ingredients:
12 parasol mushrooms
1/2 batch Sage and Onion Stuffing
2 tbsp olive oil
4 tbsp olive oil to baste
Method:
Cut off and discard the stems of the mushroom then pack in the sage and onion stuffing. Arrange, open end uppermost, in a baking dish drizzle the olive oil over the top then transfer to an oven pre-heated to 180°C and bake for about 25 minutes. During this baking time baste twice with 2 tbsp olive oil.

Well this looked reasonable, and I had this packet of stuffing lurking in the cupboard [OK it isn’t actually sage and onion, but it is still stuffing, isn't it?]

So I arranged the mushrooms in the dish and carefully spooned stuffing onto each and drizzled with oil etc. Alongside I roasted some butternut squash, and cooked up some sweetcorn – this had the makings of a filling vegetarian dinner, I thought. HOWEVER…as the mushrooms cooked, they sort of flattened and the stuffing oozed out and covered the whole surface of the dish in one layer, nothing like the picture with the recipe!

“What are we eating?” asked Bob

“Stuffed parasol mushrooms” I replied

“What are they stuffed with?”

“Stuffing!”

“It’s just that if this is to be my last meal on earth, I’d like to know what it is!”

[ but HE was the one who had deemed this fungi to be edible in the first place!] However once we had served up the food, it became apparent that the mushrooms had gone all leathery and rather odd. So we just ate the stuffing and accompanying vegetables.

Don’t you just love the way Aldi call their brands similar names – Quixo for Paxo, Norpak butter for Lurpak etc

Four hours later we are both still alive with no signs of food poisoning. After the disaster of our meal, here is a mushroom joke

A woman announces that she’s getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking - what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He too ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."