Pause In Advent #1

It’s been a strange week. Last Sunday I posted about feeling low, and wanting to run away and hide, like Elijah, needing the angels to come and sustain me. Bob was going over to Cornerstones – to deliver some bits and pieces, and also to spend time quietly away from distractions, studying and praying.

From here on, it is wall-to-wall Advent/Christmas related events and he knew he needed time to prepare himself, and be quiet, and listen to God. While he was gone, I just got on with life, and surprised myself by how much was achieved.

Unexpectedly, I suddenly received loads of emails from Connexion members in Dorset, encouraging me, and saying they were looking forward to me joining the group down there. That was so lovely [practical messages too, about find work as a Supply Teacher etc] Having been really upset about losing my camera – I found it again, and found a cheque, and one or two other things I had temporarily misplaced. All of that cheered me up too. And all my teaching went well – and colleagues have been very supportive. These things all seemed to be blessings and sustenance from the angels!

But I am very conscious that it is only a couple of months till we move – especially when people keep saying ‘when do you go?’ ‘this will be your last Christmas here’ etc. It would be easy to feel guilty about things I have not done here in Kirby Muxloe, or sadness for the friends I am leaving [will I find such good colleagues in the staffrooms in future?] or feel anxiety about the move to Ferndown [how long will it take to find work?] Such thoughts are not profitable!

My Uncle’s death during the week was a little sad – now I only have one remaining Aunt. But I realised it is just a year since my other Aunt in Sheffield died. I looked up the poem which was printed in her funeral order of service. It seems very appropriate for me, as I enter Advent and all that lies beyond…

Loving Father, help me to live one day at a time,
not to be thinking of what might have been,
not to be worrying about what may be.
Help me to accept the fact that I cannot undo the past and cannot foresee the future.
Help me to remember that I will never be tried
beyond what I can bear,
that a Father’s hand will never cause his child
a needless tear,
that I can never drift beyond your love and care.