Sunday 20 March 2022

Lent Reflection #3 - Leaving Deliberately

First looking again, then learning graciously, now leaving deliberately 

What do I mean by that? It is all about my mindset around letting go of things. For all of my 66th year, when I wasn't adjusting to the lifestyle changes inflicted by the Pandemic, or running Grandma's Nursery for Rosie, I was working towards retirement and moving.

There was definitely a lot of letting go/leaving behind at that point

  • letting go of church responsibilities. 
  • letting go of superfluous furniture and 'homewares'. Lots of stuff as we went from 40 years in large Manses [plus holiday bungalow] to just Cornerstones.
  • leaving behind many friends - yes some friendships last, but there is a difference between day-to-day contact and distanced relationships. 
  • leaving behind resources which we have no storage room for, in our new life - and realistically no use for. My beloved Palm Tree and my knitting machine.
definition deliberate [verb] "to engage in long and careful consideration" 
definition deliberate [adj] "done consciously and intentionally

Much as I love Cornerstones, and life in Norfolk, in many ways laying down 40 years in ministry wasn't done lightly. I found the leaving UCF easier because we did it deliberately. Bob spent a really long time considering his different roles, and working out how to leave the church in a 'prepared' state. Nobody in a church/school/workplace/family wants to find themselves asking "How do we do this?" and find the answer is "We don't know, X always did it" or "That was Y's job, and we've got no idea where the key/contact number/password is"

None of our furniture ended up in a skip. The dining suite went to Manchester. We considered what we could sell, and the 'better' pieces went off to Facebook Marketplace. And then two young friends were allocated Married Quarters at the barracks- and really grateful for a bed, sofas, coffee table, bookcases etc [it was dead weird going to visit, and sit in their lounge surrounded by our stuff though!] I am so glad to be able to picture my stuff in their family home now. 
After a couple of months in Norfolk, I
deliberately left some social media groups I was in. I explained that we had settled happily, miles from Dorset and it just wasn't appropriate for me to be part of the group anymore. People were kind, wishing us well - and many have sent the occasional private message since. 

My Palm Tree went to a Primary School, along with a set of Nativity Costumes.  And my knitting machine, unused since Kirby days, went to someone who wanted to take up the craft in her retirement. Leaving these once much-used, special items with people who would love and care for them and give them new purpose felt really positive.

I acknowledge that I have been blessed with the time to prepare for this huge change, many people have to get up and flee and leave everything. But these news pictures remind me I have too much stuff - I need to be passing it on to others. My newly widowed neighbour told me yesterday that her late husband's winter coats have all gone to Ukraine Relief on a lorry - I said he was a good, kind man who would be glad that they were blessing others, and not hanging unused in a wardrobe. She said that thought was helping her.

Minimalism is definitely a Work In Progress for me. I can't look at an item and make the keep/discard decision quickly. I want to be sure I am not ditching something which still has a purpose for somebody else- nor yet hanging on to things which hinder my progress. This is a spiritual issue as well as a practical and emotional one. As the Bible says in Hebrews ch 12
So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us. Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends 


14 comments:

  1. Thanks FC. Over the years, I've really appreciated the honesty of your blog as you have shared lifestyle changes, and the positive way you have learned to leave/let go of things.

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  2. This is what I have woken up thinking about this morning so your post must be no coincidence. I have way too much stuff but want to be sure things will go to where they will be used or appreciated but I struggle with the motivation to find out where to take them.

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    1. A charity shop or some sort of recycling is my destination of choice for most things. I feel frustrated if the only option appears to be landfill

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  3. We too have let things( stuff) go when we downsized, I hadn't realised how much we had.. not easy when its linked to a memory. We are enjoying reading through Job at the moment.

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    1. I wonder if you use the same SU Bible notes as we do, as we are also reading through Job

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  4. You planned your retirement move well, with other people in mind. Isn't it amazing, though, how much we still have when we thought we had divested ourselves of so much? I'm thinking of music books, language studies, art materials, all with some sentimental thoughts of how I can get back to using them (even if they have sat in cupboards and drawers for years!). Time to let go again.

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    1. You are right - I thought I'd got rid of so much before retirement- but I continue to find things that I need to dispose of, because they are not being any use to me

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  5. I am not, and never will be, a minimalist! I have too many things with meaning, but I really do need to get a good clear out done. Doing so deliberately is what I should do. I'm just catching up with blogs, so this is a day late re your previous post, but my mother did a lot of smocking and I collected the dresses she made me and cut out the smocked parts. Then I sewed those together into a pillow cover for on the sofa. A nice way to still appreciate her handiwork. Celie

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    1. I think your comment is not late - it ties in beautifully. To keep the special parts of the smocked garments and repurposed them into a cushion is a really clever idea. Far better to do that than have a box of dresses which will never be worn again. And this way they are a beautiful reminder of your mother's love and skill, Celie ❤️

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  6. You definitely planned for your retirement and did so deliberately! I also think that physically relocating to another home helped with the decluttering. I, too, planned for my retirement, but, I didn't have to move and so, I have continued to keep a lot of the things that I have. I think it is harder (for me, at least) to decide to let go of certain items when I am still in the same place!

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    1. Moving to a smaller property is a great incentive. But you do seem to be mindful about your possessions Bless, and that is good.

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  7. My parents downsized in stages over decades from a large seven bedroom house to now a 2 bedroom flat. I bless them every time I think of this. Our loft is like a sleeping dragon, it overwhelms me every time I consider the forthcoming battle!
    The task for the day on Saturday was to give something precious away; I'm still pondering.

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    1. Just don't give away your Precious Handsome Prince - you need him to help slay the dragon

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