Thursday 9 June 2022

Creating Calm From Chaos

Liz recommended this book, and so I borrowed it from the library.* It calls itself a "get-real guide" - and I have to agree with Liz, this woman does write with a down-to-earth, honest attitude to clutter with which many of us can identify.

*don't buy the book. It is £13 and is unlikely to earn a permanent place on the shelf. If you cannot borrow, then get a 2nd hand copy for less than £3 - and pass it on to somebody else. 

Debora [a blogger and foodwriter] has read extensively on the whole subject of decluttering, and selects the best advice from a wide range of writers. She acknowledges that Marie Kondo has helped bazillions of people to organise their homes- but says the "Does it Spark Joy?" question does not really work for her. However she likes MKs systematic approach to sorting out belongings.

She acknowledges that many people feel 'marooned in a sea of possessions, and not knowing where to start, feeling overwhelmed and flustered'

She counsels against emptying your entire wardrobe on the bed to sort it- you may never dig yourself out! Or you will run out of time part way through. It's late, you want to go to bed, so the unsorted stuff will be stuffed back into cupboards and drawers, and remain in a tangled mess for months until you have spare time. Just do one drawer or shelf at a time...

She urges us to see that we do not need all this stuff- 'chuck it overboard and move forward'
Debora cites all sorts of long established 'gurus' - Martha Cilley, the FlyLady who has been sharing wise tips since the 1990s, Norah Ephron the wonderfully witty writer, Margaretta Magnusson [Swedish Death Cleaning] Edward de Bono [who introduced us to lateral thinking] and many others. I have enjoyed the writings of all 4 of these in the past, and DR shares some of their best ideas. Her writing style is clever, and self deprecating, peppered with amusing anecdotes and little cartoons.
But the book is above all practical - simple ways to build decluttering habits into your lifestyle. Which tasks to do if you have 5/10/15/30/60 minutes.
And a gentle reminder that "keep/ donate /sell /discard" must be done thoughtfully.
keep - do I love it, do I use it, do I need it?
donate - will anyone else truly want this. Don't pass on junk to family, or the charity shop - that is adding to their burden
sell - fine, if you are going to get on and do the selling. But don't keep boxes of stuff hanging about waiting for The Right Moment. Schedule a day for listing with Ziffit/ eBay/ Etsy/ FBMarketplace - and if you can't [and the stuff genuinely has value] give it away.
discard - carefully, landfill being your last resort, after diligent sorting and recycling.
The book is full of little nuggets of inspiration - and does not make you feel a failure. Some decluttering books are Very Worthy - this one makes you smile, and feel that even if all you do this week is sort out your spice rack, you are making progress. 
I did a lot of downsizing prior to retirement - but I consider decluttering is an ongoing activity. Reading this book has encouraged me to look again at the process, and tackle some of my heaps, stores, and stashes in a new way. Thank you Liz for the recommendation. 
I rate this book *****








15 comments:

  1. I agree with you that decluttering is an on-going process.

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  2. Ongoing because things have a habit of creeping back, I really don't know how.

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  3. Yes, you are both absolutely right!

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  4. I had such fun doing the rounds of jumble sales,car boot sales, etc collecting stuff in days of yore(sp?). Now I'm totally overwhelmed by it all and have been trying to shift it bit-by-bit. As one of the daughters-in-law remarked 'we don't want to have to shift that lot when it's time for you to pop your clogs' so I'm trying to ease their burden! Funny side to that story, I went to help said daughter-in-law last week to declutter their flat in readiness for photographer who was coming to take pics for imminent sale of flat. There were a lot of trips to the skips! I just, this week, collected the Swedish Death Cleaning book from the library but so far haven't had time to open it!

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    1. Full marks for all your efforts. I too have collected "bits & pieces" over the years, browsing charity shops, boot fairs and yardsales is an inexpensive day out - and usually we come home with a couple of "bargains". We are trying to be Much Firmer now, and donating bags to CS as well as buying from them!

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  5. It sounds like a really good book, but as you say I won't be buying it, perhaps borrowing it instead, why add to my piles of books. I did buy Marie Kondo's and found it fascinating and if nothing else she taught me the art of folding which I use to this day.

    I only decided the other day that in a couple of months, just before the last table top sale of the season, I will be going through everything that I own in one last declutter. Everything that I haven't used in the 18 months I have lived in this small space or had on full display because I love it, will go ... no matter what it is.

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    1. Table top sales are a good way to declutter

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  6. I wish I would have learned this at a much earlier age. As an ongoing project, I need to sort out every drawer, shelf, or space at least once a year to stay on top of it. Doing this means that eventually, it will only take a few minutes. And I agree, even if you only get rid of one thing, it's progress. Flylady calls it 'baby steps'
    I find that now, I like the space more than the stuff. ~ skye

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    1. I used to follow FlyLady's blog years ago. I'd forgotten her 'babysteps' idea. I remember she said you must start the day dressing properly and lacing up your shoes, and end it with an empty, shiny sink in the kitchen.

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  7. DH just had an e-mail today from an old friend who lives in Sweden, and it mentions that they are currently doing "Swedish death cleaning". It's something I bear in mind but it is going too slowly for my age. It isn't only a question of death, but of possible future incapacity requiring a move to a smaller environment.

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    1. Easier now than later, when a "moving date" looms

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  8. I just finished clearing out my sister's home. Thirty years of accumulated things. Her daughter took a few things of sentimental value, furniture went to a transitional housing charity, clothes to a women's shelter, miscellaneous items to charity shop, and haulers took the junk. Exhausting work. I never want to put my family through this, so I will try to declutter my things! I'm setting a goal of one year to pare it down to just what I want and need. I found that book on Kindle for less than one dollar. I may splurge on it!!

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    1. Such hard work - and emotionally draining too, after a bereavement. But it was kind of you to pass on furniture to the shelter - I find it a comfort to know that the things my loved ones left behind can be used to bless others

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  9. I used to have a New Year Resolution of taking 2 bags (no specific size) of stuff to charity every month. It stopped when lockdown started in 2020 but I have been stashing things for charity in the meantime. Now that I'm cautiously emerging from shielding we have started taking stuff to the charity shop again. Our local British heart shop has parking outside the back door so I don't need to go into the shop to drop it off .

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    1. Our Age Concern has a proper car park too-so useful.

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