Say "Cheese!"

I'm not a great cheese eater, I can manage soft fresh "farmhouse" cheeses [cottage, Philly, boursin etc] but not the harder matured stuff like Cheddar or Red Leicester. It makes me feel very queasy, or worse, actually sick. Bob on the other hand will try any cheese at least once. In Brussels once, he bought some ettekeis which absolutely stinks - the cheesemonger actually queried whether he was sure about this purchase!

His current favourite is Red Fox, as recommended by Sue in Suffolk. The website describes is as "An aged Red Leicester with an unexpected crunch" It is available in Tesco, Waitrose and Morrisons.
But what makes a good cheese? Sue mentioned Thomas Tusser in her recent Midsummer post, and he actually wrote down ten qualities to be desired in the ideal cheese.

Not like Gehazi, dead white, like a leper
Not like Lot's wife, all salt
Not like Argus, full of eyes
Not like Tom Piper, “hoven and puffed”
Not like Crispin, leathery
Not like Lazarus, poor
Not like Esau, hairy
Not like Mary Magdalene, full of whey or maudlin
Not like the Gentiles, full of maggots
Not like a Bishop, made of burnt milk
Tusser clearly expected his readers to be well versed in Scripture, as some of these refer to Bible characters, or church teachings

1.Gehazi was the servant of the Prophet Elisha, who was punished for his deceitfulness by being struck down with leprosy, which makes the skin dry and white [2 Kings 5] no dry cheese

2.Lot's wife looked back on the destruction of Sodom and was turned into a pillar of salt [Genesis 19] no over salted cheese
3. Argus Panoptes is a character in Greek mythology who had many eyes. Presumably a warning to avoid cheese full of holes?
5. St Crispin was the patron saint of tanners and leather workers. Shun cheese with a leathery texture
6.Lazarus was the poor beggar in Luke 16 [not the guy brought back from the dead [John 11] no poor quality cheese
7. Esau was a hairy man [Genesis 25] avoid hairy cheese at all costs!

8. Magdalene was often pronounced maudlin, which was a synonym for weak/watery avoid feeble cheese

9. Gentile is a corruption of the old English word gentle, an old name for the blowfly larva/maggot. In Exodus 16, if the Israelites hoarded their manna, it became 'gentles' - nothing to do with non-Jews. Don't eat maggoty cheese

10. Three bishops had been burned at the stake by Mary Tudor, two years before Tom wrote his poem. Cheese made with burnt milk leaves a bad taste in the mouth

I have no idea at all about #4, Tom Piper, unless this musician's cheeks were puffed up with wind. Don't eat cheese which causes flatulence?
What qualities do you look for in a piece of cheese?

If you had to prepare a cheeseboard with just three cheeses, what would you choose?

Why?

Confession - I looked at this chart and initially misread it. I thought it said that the four characteristics of the cheeses should be

blue

semi firm

firm & aged

bloody minded.

I immediately thought of the guys in 'Last of the Summer Wine', grumpy, elderly gents, [plus Peter Sallis]