We made a fleeting visit down to Essex - leaving 11am Thursday, home again by 3pm Friday. It was good to see my aunt and her grandson, albeit briefly. I took a shepherd's pie, and a chocolate marble loaf cake, so that Julian would have at least one evening in the week when he did not need to cook after work. Bob did a few odd jobs about the place. Mostly we drank tea and chatted. Whilst I believe that everyone's experience of bereavement is personal, and the correct response to "I know just how you feel" is "no, you absolutely don't!", I also think that talking about the loved one, and speaking of our shared memories can be really helpful. Laughing as well as weeping.
It was important for Peggy to be able to chat about moments in Gill's life with somebody who'd been around then - and I'm one of those people. Julian obviously wasn't there when his Mum was a teenager, and he enjoyed hearing the stories. Peggy loves her Memory Bear, sitting her proudly on the sofa.I wanted my own tangible memory of Gill, and thought a rose bush for my garden would be a good idea.
I sought advice from my blogfriend Philip. He knows about growing roses, and also lives in East Anglia [so understands the climate] I gave him a brief description of Gill and asked what he would recommend. He responded very quickly, and so we were able to make a brief stop on our way back yesterday, to the Peter Beales Rose Centre.
I went in and asked the lady at the "Rose Advice Desk" and came away with the variety which Philip suggested.The roses are sold as "bare roots" at this time of year, but this is what my new rose should look like when it blooms in the summer. I hope to post photos then!
The catalogue description reads "Awarded “Best of the Best 2011” Generously sized, peach to
pale pink full blooms of classic rosette form, borne in clusters. Flowers in
flushes throughout the season. A bushy, compact shrub with glossy foliage.
Suitable for beds, borders, cutting. Medium perfume"
The name of this rose is "Joie de Vivre" - which the dictionary defines as "delight in being alive, a carefree enjoyment of living". I think that is a great description of Gill - she was full of love, life and laughter, even when times were tough. She brought us so much joy.
Thank you Philip- a great suggestion
Lovely rose by which to remember your cousin. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is in the bed right by the front door - so I will see it as I come and go!
DeleteWhat a beautiful rose, a fitting tribute to your friend that will hopefully bring you a little bit of comfort when it blooms.
ReplyDeleteI hope I am able to smell the fragrance, as well as appreciate the colour and shape of the blooms
DeleteThat is a lovely rose, Angela, and will give much pleasure I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteI know how much you love roses too
DeleteThat is a beautiful way of remembering.Itsounds really apt.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful to Philip for his suggestion
DeleteThat rose is gorgeous!! I hope it will bring you much joy. I miss the gorgeous roses we had in the bungalow. They were SO proloific and varied. Our yellow rose in this garden is not my favourite colour of Rose and it's so tall no matter how much I hack it down.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you say about not saying, "I know how you feel." What I always say in any situation where someone is suffering is, "I can't know how you feel but I am really willing to listen and talk and care," and it always is appreciated.x
That is a lovely response to someone who is grieving, Kezzie.
DeleteWhat a wonderful way to remember your friend - and what a beautiful addition to your garden.
ReplyDeleteI just hope it flourishes
DeleteI'm sure it was healing for you, too, to share memories of Gill with your Aunt. I love the idea of a rose to remember Gill by.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bushlady
DeleteJoie be yours x
ReplyDeleteMerci, Mags!
DeleteThe rose you've chosen is beautiful and a wonderful way to remember your cousin. x
ReplyDelete