You Can’t Take It With You!

Stumbled across this one recently, and it amused me.

I, Angela Almond, being of sound mind [a statement which does not bear close examination] do hereby record my last will and testament.
Knowing that Bob, Liz and Steph [husband, and daughters] haven’t the least interest in, or for that matter, knowledge of, my extensive fabric collection [aka The Great Stash] which collection is suitably deposited in sundry places for safekeeping.

Knowing also that they may have already booked a skip to dispose of the aforementioned stash "willy-nilly" [the thought of which causes me most severe distress].
Therefore, I do will this collection and all other collections related to it, to my dear crafting friends and fellow fabric preservationists.    It is my wish that upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof that I did not manage, although goodness knows I tried, to take it with me, they should come to my home post haste, before the skip, and search out my collection.
That the said collection should be stacked in the dining room [and lounge, and conservatory], along with my sewing machines, yarns, buttons, lace, patterns, quilts, ribbons, wool and works in progress.

After they have done this, they should purchase refreshments for my crafting friends not yet departed, and every last one shall be in the home and they shall hold a wake and say lovely and kind things about me until they run out and then they shall divide amongst themselves, by lot, my wonderful collection.

This is my wish on the matter.
Signed:Angela Almond Date: 29.04.11

Actually, I am honestly trying to reduce The Great Stash. Bob has already suggested that I cannot take it to Cornerstones in retirement, and I know he is right. I shall just have to go on having blog giveaways for the next ten years!