Monday 1 June 2015

KonMari Contrary


OK, I did try – I reserved Marie Kondo’s bestseller The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying from the Dorset libraries. I was 16th in the queue – and by the time it arrived for me in the Ferndown branch, I had rather lost enthusiasm. I freely acknowledge for many people that this book has been a revelation – but it doesn’t work for me at all. The writing style irritated me- but perhaps that may be bad translation from the Japanese.
For starters, MK’s method [called KonMari after her childhood nickname] is not so much about tidying as discarding. She suggests you eliminate anything from your home that does not bring you joy. You must actually put your hand on each thing [dress, book, ornament, whatever] and if you don’t feel the joy, then out it goes. No argument. “What about the cat litter tray?” said Liz – “I won’t be filled with joy if I put my hand in it, but it is essential in my flat!” MK says there must be genuine joy, not sentimental attachment to things from the past, you must live in the present. Bob says this is why I can’t do it. I pick up a book, and read the inscription in the front – and thank the Lord for the Girls’ Brigade Captain who gave it, and for all she taught me. I look at the little badge in my jewellery box, bearing the photo of a lad killed on his motorbike – and I remember to pray for his Mum back in Kirby Muxloe. My hot water bottle is in an old red cover, it was my Mum’s, and cuddling it reminds me of her. So many of my things carry memories – but happy ones, which inspire me to go on, to do more, to pray more, to love more…
MK won’t let you stockpile either, and cites people who store 20,000 cotton buds. “Only buy things as you need them” She’d be horrified at the idea of my Great Stash in the loft – which is constantly changing – fabric and yarn used up, and more mysteriously arrives as needed [like the widow’s oil in the OT] and my pantry, with bottled plums and jars of marmalade – prepared and stored in season. They all get used, or given away…eventually.  William Morris’ mantra about keeping only what you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful works better for me. And as for only having a minimal number of plates [you can always buy disposables if you have guests round, she says] I accept there are just 2 of us most of the time – but in the short time we have been here, we have hosted two events, one with 60+ guests, the other with 20+ [and we haven’t even got to the BBQ or Christmas season] To buy and discard would be both expensive and not eco-friendly. She also tells you to throw away almost all paper- including payslips – she’s obviously not a teacher in the UK, then. If I had not kept my payslips, I would have lost a significant amount of my pension

And as for ' don't keep spare bedlinen for visitors - just rent a set of sheets when you need them' What!??!! There really doesn’t seem to be that much about tidying, more about ways to organise and store. Keep everything that is alike in the same place. Must I go upstairs whenever I need scissors, or have all the radios in the bedroom? And her vague instruction about ‘all electrical things should be in a box together’- makes no sense at all [razor, food mixer, sewing machine…??]

Everything needs to be folded, a key Japanese principle [they invented origami] I fold teeshirts - but socks and tights? She says "Socks bust their chops for you, if you ball them up they don't get a chance to rest. The socks in your drawer are essentially on holiday"

Our socks are rolled tidily in the approved Van Der Zanden rectangles,  I haven't heard complaints. 
Her technique for hanging clothes is “Hang up anything that looks happier hung up, and arrange like with like, matching colours, working from left to right, with dark, heavy clothing on the left: Clothes, like people, can relax more freely when in the company of others who are very similar in type, and therefore organizing them by category helps them feel more comfortable and secure.”
And she allows a few books- but suggests they be kept on a shelf in a cupboard. But books do furnish a room! I cannot get on with her habit of anthropomorphism, thanking the kettle for boiling, and being grateful to my sewing machine. [MK claims such gratitude makes these items work harder to give you joy!]  I thank the LORD, often, for all His blessings- and I thank individuals too [I frequently tell Bob how grateful I am that he bought me my machine, or tell the girls how much joy the bicycle brings me] I make-do-and-mend, I recycle and re-use stuff, I save things, I redeem them, It might work in Japan, but sorry Ms Kondo, your scheme doesn’t work for me at all. I wait to see how long it is before her books start appearing in the CS.   Rant over!!

[PS apologies that blogposts are looking strange. Live Writer has stopped working properly]

20 comments:

  1. I agree with you Ang, I haven't read the book but I watched a couple of voutube videos. I though most of what she said was twaddle, and as for the spare bedding, where can you rent it from anyway.

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  2. Quite frankly it sounds a bit bizarre for my tastes. I am sentimental about my bits and bobs - and the idea of disposable plates for guests!?that seems rather rude to offer guests paper plates. And bad for the environment! No, I think I will co-exist peacefully with my clutter!

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  3. You are right, and I agree on many of your points here. I have downloaded the Kindle edition of the book, and found that it was not for me - I read it through once and that was that. What I have found encouraging has been the various forums where people have chatted about their tidying and how it has helped them. There is a good one in the Old Style section of MSE, which I pop in to read occasionally. I have folded most of my clothes in some of her recommended ways, and I do love the way I have a drawer full of t-shirts and I can see them all when I open the drawer, rather than having them one on top of the other. I have discarded some old bits and pieces, but there are a lot of areas where I have thought, "No! I am not getting rid of that!" and stockpiling, and my craft stash are two areas in particular! I don't thank anything and I certainly don't empty out my handbag every time I come home - some of her ideas are not for me at all. I am finding the need to de-clutter the house as we move things around to accommodate the students who are coming in September, but I am doing that more my way than hers!

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  4. Rent sheets??? Whatever next!

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    1. This part cracked me up! I would NEVER rent a set of sheets. For one thing...I don't know where they *rented sheets* have been or what they have been doing. So for me and my house space will be taken up for the extra sets of sheets. ;)

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  5. All sounds like a lot of hassle to me.

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  6. I bought the thing on Kindle, after soooo many recommendations, and was then really annoyed with myself. It's nonsense, and frankly, the girl's not well. It feels uncomfortably taking dieting advice from an anorexic - and I'm not trying to be funny either. The poor girl has serious problems, and her publisher should be ashamed of itself for exploiting her clearly crippling OCD to make a profit while also probably causing other people problems!
    I'm chronically untidy, so I was immune to her charms, the only really useful bit of information was the folding and stacking of things like tops sort of vertically rather than horizontally in drawers, so that you do actually know what you've got.

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  7. My copy will be recycled into craft stuff or shredded for chicken nest box material, I don't want anyone to read it, it is not for me either. So much waste, virtually no re-cycling, and so much waste of money, including the book!

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  8. Thankyou for the review, I had heard much about the book, but can see now that it's not for me, although the only useful thing seems to be stacking T shirts in drawers so that they can all be seen at a glance. Other than that it's just thanks, but no thanks. I like having and using a craft stash, I find stockpiling saves me money in the long run, and keeping like with like - only works when it's functional, I like having scissors in most rooms, it's very convenient. Thanks again, Vee x

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  9. I've started this book, but now I will take your observations and keep them in mind! FUNNY!
    We can get rid of SOME stuff, but I'm not getting rid of all of it. That's so funny about the cat tray! Ha ha ha!

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  10. Money for old rope, I call it! There are some great writers around who can't get published, yet these 'fripperies' are being churned out at a rate of noughts! I wonder what audience they are aimed at because quite honestly, they don't tell you anything that you didn't already know. I heard about another one today which advocates 'doing less to achieve more'. Drivel.

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  11. I saw a lot about her methods on various blogs, none of which enticed me to adopt her methods! Like you, I enjoy having a stash of fabrics, scissors in several different rooms and I cannot imagine parting with the 2 remaining pieces of my Dad's handwriting which I cherish. One is the inscription in a book I received as a gift at Christmas in 1971, the other is a set of directions for John to use when he first drove us to my aunt's new house in Yorkshire in 1994.

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  12. I could not read this, it would make me cross!x

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    1. Short, sweet & to the point Kezzie. I can't help agreeing with you!!

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  13. I couldn't see the point of the book when everyone was talking about it, you've now convinced me I don't need to read it. Thanks.

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  14. I'm waiting for this book - will be interested to see what I think of it. Cheers from Carole's chatter

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  15. Amen to the William Morris quote!

    Basing any decision on whether or not it gives us "joy" seems deeply untrustworthy. The human heart is deceitful above all things - who can know it? We once attended a church where the pastor said we should only take communion if we could do so "with joy" - which sounded nice, but honestly aren't some things a matter of duty rather than feeling? We are commanded to attend His table. We are not commanded to enjoy it (though of course sometimes we do). I suppose I ought to have deleted these words from my comment as they take up unnecessary blog space.... :D

    Perhaps much of this writer's advice springs from living on a crowded island where homes are by necessity much more compact than ours.

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  16. Perhaps some of those commenting above should read the book before criticising. It's translated from Japanese so some of the concepts don't apply to the way we live, and she certainly wouldn't suggest you discard pieces of handwriting if they give you pleasure, or anything else for that matter - the whole point is that you THINK about what you keep rather than just keeping it 'because someone gave it to me/because I've always had it". It's also a bit silly to take it literally with regard to items like cat-litter trays or toilet brushes. The book has brought inspiration and help to many people as witnessed by the MSE thread referred to above. Living in clutter can sap our energy and leave us feeling too 'busy' to do other things. I'm surprised at some of the bitter comments on here. Each to their own.

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    1. I did check out the MSE thread- and found there were a mixture of responses there. I read the book having previously read a lot of positive reviews - but it is interesting that the majority of comments here have been less positive. Thank you for putting the other side of the coin! I think the fact that it was written initially for the Japanese culture, which is very different from my own meant that it didn't chime with me. As you say - each to their own. I appreciate all comments - please keep 'em coming!

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  17. I just finished reading the book - borrowed it from the library. I found it interesting. I have been folding/rolling clothes stored in drawers rather than placing them in stacks for several years, so that was not something new. I think she is basically saying what just about every other organizer says - declutter first, then, organize what's left. Her criteria for decluttering is keep what makes you happy; discard (or donate) what doesn't. It's no worse or better than other criteria for decluttering such as getting rid of anything that has not been used in 6 months (or 1 year), etc.

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